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2023: The Drain Is Clogged

Started by Silver Sorrow, Feb 21, 2023, 07:13 AM

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Silver Sorrow

When peripheral ports become conversational set pieces.

Etienne: "It's very pretty, but I'm afraid she won't get much use out of it."

Gunther: "Maybe not, but we should try to see if it works anyway."

Cletus: "Hoo-WEE! Thet thang shore duz tingle!"

(This turned M-rated far too quickly for my liking, and for that I apologize.)

Anyway!

I'm scheduled for a root canal tomorrow, and all I can say is: I refuse to bow to YouTube's pressure to pay for the removal of ads. I know their entire business model now depends on getting chumps like me to give them money so they can, in turn, give that money to idiots posting hour-long rants on why Star Wars sucks even though they've based their entire lives upon it, or some moron's dumbass reaction to a Led Zeppelin song the rest of us know better than our own middle names, but somehow this genetic misfire never heard it before yesterday...but I say no!

So I suffer and writhe under the tyranny of the advertisement. Hey, it's just like that old-timey stuff your granparents watched...what did they call it? Television? That was WHACK, you know? Anyway, like, here's this thing where your concentration on a given subject will be interrupted in mid-sentence by an ad for something algorithm-based! Yes...technology working for the greater good...and you know what's good? MONEY! We love it! We're know that we're creating a generation of drooling ADHD pinheads with our constant interruptions, but you GOTTA give us money! Money! Money! MONEY!

God, shut up. Oh, that video looks interesting. Click.

Unskippable 15 second commercial: You should order Papa John's Cool Ranch Abomination right now! Here's a world-famous rapper (whose only function in this existence is to repeat his name over other people's songs) to encourage you to buy it!

Skippable 10 second flea and tick commercial: Your dog is covered in filth and biting vermin that--

Actual Video: Greetings, and welcome back to the channel. You might not know this, but we exist on the goodwill of our viewers. So if you would please hit that Subscribe button and then the Notifaction bell, that would please the tits right off of us. Whoops. Can I say "tits"? Or will I be de-monetized? I really don't know. I'm sure they'll let me know before deleting my videos, right? Anyway, this video is sponsored by NordVPN, so be prepared for a complete derailment of your viewing experience midway through the video. Also, thanks to our supporters on Patreon, without whom, we--

Unskippable 20 second commercial: You fat piece of lard. Did you know that if you don't start exercizing RIGHT NOW, you'll die horribly, most likely without ever knowing the touch of another human being? So get your jelly-jigglin' ass over to Planet Grunt, where you can engage in the gym-going experience! Although you might not get to use the actual equipment, as we currently have an infestation of Influencers posing on the damn things, so no one can use them right now. We're currently looking into humane ways to expel them from the premises, but we may have to resort to the same kind of nerve gas the Nazis liked to use. Until then, though...JOIN YOU FAT BASTARD.

Skippable 30 second commercial: [guy singing off-key] I'm old and my prostate needs inspecting / It's painfully enlarged and pulsating--

Actual Video: --wouldn't be able to bring you such insightful and in-depth content as we do. Here they are in alphabetical order--

CLICK. Jesus Christ.

Additionally, I have no idea when my pronunciation of "Amazon" changed. It used to be:

[Normal voice] "Amazon."

Now it's:

[Snarl] "Amazon."

I upgraded it this morning to something R-rated, so here's to progress, I suppose.

Anyway, yeah: root canal tomorrow. And my apologies for not posting more often...I'm not in a very good place right now, but if you've ever been to Oklahoma, you know what I mean. As for the place I'm in mentally...yeah: still Oklahoma. It gets into everything. Nooks and crannies. If I may quote "Harold The Barrel":

If I was many miles from here
I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea
Instead I'm on this window ledge
With the whole world below


DISCLAIMER: I'm not suicidal. It's just an interestingly placid moment in an otherwise up-tempo song. Still...take a running juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuump...
...there's an angel standing in the sun...

Starfox

Quote(This turned M-rated far too quickly for my liking, and for that I apologize.)

Never apologize for promoting fun ;D

It's about what I said to Liera on YT yesterday on her latest episode of DX:Human Revolution that she's currently let's playing (along with ME3 and Outer Wilds) and during which she came up with that :D

To which my comment was (can find it on the page, except it's Star Fox on YT)

QuoteGosh! I've been playing this game several times over 10 years. You know me, I'm generally inclined to notice that kind of thing, and it never did cross my mind even once. You're worse than me! I could say I can't believe it but in fact I kinda do! XD And I guess my own 12 years old sense of humor went down the drain at some point too :)

Thanks to you I have some more imagery to get rid of now, each time I will see that chopper :D So... pigs, done, DX chopper, done... what's next? :D

Should we expect you will call it the booby chopper each time it comes to pick you up now? Or is it just a one off? ;)

"I deeply apologize"
No need, I'm sure we "all" understand (I certainly do, but well, I'm "me" :D  so no high standard there), sometimes one has to let it out. Especially that kind of stuff. It's bad keeping it to yourself when it can make us all laugh. Always share the joy, no matter how basic it seems! :) And it's always good to see you laugh no matter the reason...

I know her sense of humor so I know she was capable of that (she's done worse) but I didn't expect that she'd find something that I never spotted in all those years!

Running with that kind of jokes is generally not recommended on YT, too many people lacking a proper sense of humor, unless you explain the joke carefully, which she did, and you apologize after, which she also did (although I suspect that was a joke intended for people who didn't get the joke). Personally I don't find apologizing for laughing necessary but hey, that's the world we live in today... And believe me some people on YT can get awfully... "preachy" if you come up with the "wrong" joke (I paid for that bit of knowledge myself 8) )

Well, good luck with the root canal... I've been there  ::)

Guess what it means!

Doc_Brown

Quote from: Silver Sorrow on Jun 01, 2023, 04:23 PMI refuse to bow to YouTube's pressure to pay for the removal of ads.

The sad thing is I'm willing to watch ads provided they're something I'm interested in, but instead the majority of them are entirely irrelevant to me.  I thought they were supposed to be tailored based on the viewer's predilections, and yet they keep trying to force me to sit through ads for crap like Dr. Squatch and Grammarly.  I wonder if that's Youtube's entire plan, to find the most annoying advertisers they can in order to drive viewers to pay to be free of ads...
Roads?  Where we're going we don't need roads.

Starfox

QuoteI wonder if that's Youtube's entire plan, to find the most annoying advertisers they can in order to drive viewers to pay to be free of ads...

Very possibly... But I have a couple of things to say about that guys... Ublock Origin and Adblock Plus (depends on if you're using Firefox or Edge).

I generally don't like to use those because it may impact content-creators (then again it may not because ads are blocked on my side, not on YT side, so YT might still consider I watched them), but let's face it: most of the channels I follow are demonetized anyway, meaning, YT always finds a way to not pay most if not all of the ad share to the content creators for whatever reason, sometime it's copyright, sometime promoting something that YT or YT advertisers don't like, sometime it's just bad language... the list goes on (especially since YT updated its content policies a few months ago with more idiocy)

So at one point I said "fuck it" especially because, like you, I always got ads (possibly not the same being in France) that had nothing to do with the videos I watched or with my own preferences.

If you really want to support a channel, there's Patreon (believe me content creators you like will receive more money that way) or being a YT member by "joining" the channel you want to support (but then again a part of what you pay there goes directly to YT and Google so it depends if you want to finance them too or not).

Guess what it means!